Are you sure that you want to get your guy back after a breakup? It can be hard to know exactly how you feel in the days following the breakdown of your relationship. Feelings of loneliness and wounded pride can be confused with real love. It is always a good idea to try and analyse your relationship and why it failed.

If the reason is that long term you are not compatible then do yourself a favor and move onto the next guy. You and your ex deserve to be happy but this does not necessarily mean that will be as a couple.

But if you are genuinely pining for him try these tips:

1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He won't find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.

2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now is not the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Don't change your image. He fell for you the way you are so now is not the time to change.

3) Try to determine why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologise and do this properly. Men have feelings too although they usually manage to hide them better than women.

4) Did you play too many games? I don't know what it is about us women but for some reason we sometimes treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach doesn’t work in most cases and men, like all human beings, do not like being played.

Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not very good at reading signs and subtle hints.

If you do get back together, make sure that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up in the first place. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you are looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas.

While sexual attraction is fantastic and in my view a necessary part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once again with the question of how to get a guy back after a breakup.



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